Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
