why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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