grandma shit on top of the toilet
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
