There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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