i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
