Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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