I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
