yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
