Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Are my feet made of real feet?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
