Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
