just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
