But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
