i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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