I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
