I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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