I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
