Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
