WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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