I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
