i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need water and some morals
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
