I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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