You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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