we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
