No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
