So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
