we're blogging at a bar
Non-Jews are for practice
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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