well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize