what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
