I could make wine with my vomit
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
