I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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