I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
