is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
