Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
