I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
