She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
