I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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