what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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