She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
