I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
