2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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