Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
