I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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