im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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