Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
