I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize