Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
