Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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