his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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