..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Randomize
