part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
