please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
