All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
