we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
