So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
