North Korea, Best Korea!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dear god my vagina.
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