I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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