Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
